Red flags abusive dating relationships
It’s like telling you to “watch out.” Some of these behaviors simply made me uncomfortable. Looking back, I see some pretty big warning signs that, especially when all connected, make me wonder why I didn’t leave sooner.
Though my partner sought counseling, the behaviour didn’t change enough to convince me I was safe in that relationship and by then I’d already lost trust.
Abusive behavior isn’t as simple as we, as a society, want it to be.
In fact, the leading cause of death in pregnant women is domestic homicide, which is to say they are killed by their intimate partners.
He often seemed out of control when angry, screaming things at me that made no sense.
What’s behind those kinds of comments is both that he’s also trying to make you feel badly about yourself/self-conscious (which is not something a loving partner does) but also remind you idea that your body is for him.
Making you responsible for their behavior or blaming you for “pushing” them to the edge – whether that be calling you a “cunt,” threatening you or becoming violent – is very common in abusive men. The only person responsible for an individual’s behavior is that individual. But there are a number of particular behaviors you should watch out for.
There isn’t anything you can do to avoid being called misogynist names or getting hit. Asking you to change your behaviour in order for him to control his own, thus making you responsible for his behavior, is a bad sign. Making comments about your clothing is one example.
In my case there were small incidents of physical aggression that I temporarily forgave him for because he felt so awful about it (and actually sought counseling).
But at the end of the day, I couldn’t trust someone who acted out in that way and knew that this kind of behavior almost always gets worse as time goes on.